3 Candles, Accidents.

"Over the years I have developed a picture of what a human being living humanely is like. She is a person who understands, values and develops her body, finding it beautiful and useful; a person who is real and is willing to take risks, to be creative, to manifest competence, to change when the situation calls for it, and to find ways to accommodate to what is new and different, keeping that part of the old that is still useful and discarding what is not."

-- Virginia Satir

To be this intentional in life is difficult. Really difficult. To know what is best for yourself is very hard. To act on what you know, harder.

It takes a certain pragmatism, an ability to imagine objectivity to the thing that is most subjective: your life.

I am slow to remember that every day is a gift. That every moment I live and breathe is precious because it is singular, every moment, a risk.

I used to think that the idea that "there are no accidents" was an absolutely ridiculous notion. If there are no accidents then everything is intentional, plotted, and conceived. I failed to realize that the opposite of an accident is pretty much something predictable...

and none of life is this way.

So if things are not predictable, than they must be something else - and that is, accidental.

We don't get a guarantee on anything...and so EVERYTHING is therefore accidental, surprising, or...everything has a purpose, has meaning, and repercussions.

I'm only thinking...because my schedule permits the throbbing of day after day with no realization of what it is I'm really doing; that is to say... moving through water, making waves, creating accidents everywhere.

And so I think, we cannot feel forever horrible for the things that happen to us, because we were silly to believe ourselves guaranteed otherwise. We can be grateful for the right kind of accidents, hopeful for a better bigger picture. There are no happy endings, only accidents we want, and accidents we don't want.

I figure the really hard thing is accepting either,

then choosing to learn from it,

then actually learning.