Hope may be the heaviest thing we’ll ever have to carry. - @levithepoet

When I am sad I lie next to my infant son and watch the slow rise and fall of his chest. I hope to myself that this breath will be enough. That life will somehow manage to keep me living. 

That time biking saved my life.

 

If I Told You

If I Told You, Courtney Marie Andrews

-didn't hate this, definitely still have to change my strings. 

Lily

Lily 

In the French restaurant you asked me if you

would have to eat snails,

And I told you “no” but there might be steak with sauce.

The French and their sauces which - if separated - represent failure, lack of intuition;

If intact - the glorious balance of being unbroken.

But alas, you do not like steak with sauce,

Or separation - or divorce - or the feeling of not being so young and so able. 

Your freckle, fine face is just here and 

Still so frail but lights at the prospect of cracking the brûlée. 

Lily, it will not be that separation can be remedied with an extra egg yolk,

Or the cloying of effort and awkward whisking conversations, 

But it will be necessary at some point 

To accept defeat and crack the shell and admit

That life is sweetest when it is barely burnt.

Maybe I'll post music here?

 

the bowl in me

 

For all that I hold which is precious

My mother’s hand: 

Weather-worn, small,

Folded in mine, ridged,

Sculpted by moment, and love.

My second baby:

Cupped captive in the womb, 

Kept safe, mysterious, hiccups,

Enveloped expectations.

My beloved:

Woven and wonderful relief 

with the pain of belonging

To each and every tide together.

The chin of my dog:

Gray and toothy, pleading,

almond-eyed trust I cannot 

Imagine departing in so short a time.

A raspberry:

Plucked plump and filled

With light and love, sunny seeds

That help a sweet-sour life to grow.  

The perpetual heart:

Pinned to all things yet

Fleeting as all hearts are,

viscera-bound to beat the everlasting.

My heart.